A recent report suggests that Potions Master Severus Snape probably cooked biccy’s that would rattle you right off your camp chair.
The report comes after several of The Derby Time’s best investigators smoked a huge spliff and watched Harry Potter and the Chamber Of Secrets.
“And don’t try tell me Professor sprout didn’t have a crop like the fuckin’ Daintree cunt”
One investigator speculated.
The report was critiqued by a nearby girlfriend who contended that the statement was presumptuous and signified a complete culmination of any remaining innocence beholden to this generation.
“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, you’ve ruined Hogwarts for me”
The young critic weighed in.