Man Breaks Land-Speed Record During “Ocean” Breakdown On Drive To Work

A Melbourne man has today unwittingly broken the land speed record during his commute to work.
It has been confirmed that the man managed to hit 1262.534kmh on the Tullamarine freeway this morning. He then overshot his work and was unable to slow down until the folk instrumental reached a slower tempo.

Experts are unsure how the man managed to reach over 1200kmh in his Toyota Aurion, but speculate it has something to do with that fast strummy/tapping thing that John Butler does on his 11 string.

“Yeah look I was just heading to work, thought I’d put on some John Butler for a relaxing start. About 8 minutes in to “Ocean” it picked up and I just tried to keep up with the music. Next thing I know I’m in Shepparton and there’s news cameras all around me”.

This is not the first time such an incident has happened. Last year it was reported a Darwin man reached over 436km an hour while listening to a Mumford & Sons banjo solo and riding his push-bike.

Several members of the public have called for the state to implement legislation which limits such folk bangers from being listened to within all vehicles.


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