BREAKING: MDMA Legalised Upon Condition It Be Taken in Nursing Homes

In a recent push to encourage socialisation with senior citizens the Australian federal government has implemented an emergency bill that has seen the legalisation of MDMA consumption, within registered nursing home facilities.

First reports show that the policy has been a huge success.

The Derby Times caught one man on a cigarette break out the front of the Geelong Redern Institute for an interview.

“Man I always wanted to hang out with grandpa but I just didn’t have the empathy.. But red stars up me and I can sit and talk to these old codgers for days”.

The man told our reporter as he lit a cigarette off his cigarette.

“I can’t believe some of the shit these guys have been through, did you know there was a war in turkey? Rodney fucking killed a guy?”.





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