Iconic Melbourne Pub Makes Record Turn-Over Despite Being Insulting In Every Way

A local Northern Suburbs Pub’s has been labelled “An Institution” and is enjoying record popularity, despite the fact that it’s clearly pretty shit-house.

The pubs owners are estimated to sell over 8000 pots of pale ale a night, despite spending 14 dollars on furniture and offering the customer service ‘Unkar Plutt’ from Star Wars ‘The Force Awakens’.

Mr. Plutt knew that Rey desperately needed rations to survive in the harsh desert of Jakku. Comparatively, this pub appears sure that it has always been the local go-to for north-side hipsters and can pretty much do whatever the fuck it wants.

The pubs popularity has been attributed to it’s unique atmosphere that can be found at most bars in an old Victorian building on the corner of a Northern Melbourne street.

Patrons have their orders taken by a guy with a mullet glaring at their outfit before they are directed to sit on mouldy crates in a back yard next door.

Despite other businesses offering genuine customer service, the atmosphere just keeps drawing locals back.

“It’s just so real you know, plus its iconic” said one masochistic Carlton man.

When further probed as to what he enjoyed about the pub the man told our reporter.

“Ha-ha it’s iconic. It’s my local. I love it. It’s iconic”


  1. What an interesting approach to branding. Against conventional wisdom, I love it – that’s how the trailblazers are made. Thanks for a great read. Ps I think it’s the force awakens, not the last Jedi!


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